Listening to the Democrats speak about John Kerry must be what it was like hearing Saint Peter describe Christ to his fishing buddies.  Kerry can do no wrong.  No matter what is written or said about the Senator, the Dems find no fault in the man.  He?s perfect. 

Just look at his website, JohnKerry.com.  Why, he?s squeaky clean; he?s a truth telling war hero and good guy, with an impeccable public record who should replace that terrible rascal George W. Bush.  Kerry, according to the Dems, is the savior of these United States. 

End of discussion.  Crown him with many crowns!  Yeah, right.

According to the liberal-left, Kerry has never ? no, NEVER - lied, prevaricated, exaggerated, or obfuscated. He has never flipped flopped.  If he has done a 180 on an issue it is because he is evolving ? transforming like a little butterfly.  And we all know development is a complicated process, don?t we?  Therefore, one must be understanding with Kerry during his miraculous presidential metamorphosis.  He?s flowering.  Be gentle.

Given the vast secularization of the left it?s touching to see such faith.  Yes, the Democrats? willingness to completely, implicitly trust, back, defend, go out on a limb for and stake their careers on this man is simply -- religious.

My question is: what kind of goofy grape Jim Jones juice do the Democrats and the Liberal media?s Axis of Drivel, drink to make them utterly and completely believe everything this guy says and never seriously question him, his war claims or his vacillating voting records? 

Kerry has worked some serious voodoo on his backers, and he?s now trying to do it on us voters.

We are told, you see, that Saint John Kerry is immaculate, that we should believe what he and a smattering of others say about him during his Nam days, and that we should blow off his 20 year voting history.  Just drink the [poisonous] grape juice and let him run the country. 

Kum Ba Ya, My Senator, Kum ba ya.

The liberals want the masses to believe Kerry, make a Hegelian leap of faith, blow off all the massive accusations and empirical evidence ? and embrace him.  We can do this!

First, by just moving on from all that Swift Boat stuff.  Geez, guys,  Kerry said he?s telling the truth.  Let it be.  The carefully scripted, evasive half-answers and the New York Times? tilted take is good enough for the Democrats.  So, what?s the problem?  I mean, who cares if 60 eyewitnesses, and a total of 254 combat mates, think Kerry is a grade ?A? bulls**t artist?  No need to check the facts: they?ve gotta be wrong, and Kerry?s obviously right.  Drink the juice. 

Now, repeat after me: it makes no difference that John-boy claimed until just last week that he spent Christmas Eve 1968 in Cambodia.  It?s really just a bit of poor navigation that he was 55 miles away, deep in Vietnam, although he insisted on it every chance he got including on the Senate floor. 

And it really, really doesn?t matter that he claimed Richard Nixon was the lying president at the time, although he still was waiting to be inaugurated.  We all know that worse things have been said about Nixon, so you can?t blame the ever-so-honest, self-righteous John Forbes Kerry.

Anyway, those suspicious Swift Boat Veterans for Truth ads were floated by rich Republicans ? from Texas! friends of the Bush family!! - and we know how disreputable and discrediting that kind of activity is when a partisan guy with $200 thousand gives it to a 527 organization for smear ads.  [Hey!  Don?t anybody mention George Soros giving $10 million to MoveOn.org!]  You know this grape juice is really pretty tasty.

Secondly, we all could move on and embrace Kerry if Ann Coulter would just chill on making a big deal out of Kerry bringing a movie camera with him to re-enact his purportedly heroic acts.  Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson often have people around them filming their actions, so ? what?s weird about Kerry doing it?  You and I both know that if Sony digi-cams were around in Christ?s day, he?d have Bartholomew rolling on him while he was doing His gallant deeds.  And they?d do several different takes until Bart got it right.  More funky juice, please. Continued...