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Saturday, August 14, 2004
Doug Giles :: Townhall.com Columnist
A Tour of Duty or a Ton of Dooky?
by Doug Giles
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It seems the Swift Boat Vets have delivered a swift kick to Kerry?s crotch.  Ouch!  That?s gotta hurt.  What?s ironic -- and typical -- is the Left?s hysterically hypocritical spin machine screaming for the Swifties? 411 to be immediately Dixie Chicked.  The self- righteous, first amendment waving, Michael Moron embracers are not so free with freedom of speech when it happens to slow roast their presidential nominee a mere 80 or so days before the nation schleps to the polls.

What?s funny, [not funny, ?ha-ha? ? funny ?weird?] is as long as the information comes from one uberliberal, overweight, college dropout with a communist bent, who routinely attempts to make ?W? look like a greedy gnome who wrongfully plays golf while he unrepentantly sends our kids to the Gulf, well ? that?s cool.  Spreading such misinformation, created from the ether by one of the left?s darlings should not, according to most liberals, be examined.   No! It should be believed and be considered inerrant and infallible, and the purveyor of such rank propaganda lifted high as a prophet. 

But flip to today.  More than 60 decorated, non-politically active, eyewitnesses of Kerry?s four month stint in Vietnam -- men who ate, slept, and served a few feet from the Dems? presidential applicant ? have written a heavily documented, devastating tell all, Unfit for Command, credibly contradicting Kerry?s account of his fleeting 120 days in ?Nam.  They represent more than 250 Swift Boat veterans, including Kerry?s commanding officer!  So, what?s the response from all the usual political and media suspects? What the heck do they know?  Why should they be trusted?  Dismiss ?em; censure ?em ? and if they keep trying to talk, just shout them down. 

If Unfit for Command is true, then the half-inflated raft on which Kerry?s campaign is currently floating, i.e., his allegedly heroic four months in ?Nam is sunk.  [Four months?  I took woodworking shop for four months 29 years ago, but that sure doesn?t mean I?m fit to take Bob Vila?s job.] 

It?s Kerry who volleyed his Vietnam record into the court of public scrutiny.  I guess he didn?t figure that 254 guys who served with and around him would return service back to his court with a violently contradictory top spin.  And now it is up to Kerry, not Lanny Davis, not Jeh Johnson and certainly not James Carville to field the multitudinous charges.

The right and proper action for John Kerry is to answer the heavily documented allegations.  If it turns out that he can?t or won?t, then he needs to be held in contempt or suspicion, and the Democrats need to turn to some non-Pinocchio pundit without amnesia and high grade narcissism.  That is, if liberals are intellectually honest and don?t want still another prevaricator in the Oval Office to embarrass them at every turn. 

Come on, Senator Kerry: come clean.  Answer the accusations.  Provide whatever paperwork you need to nail the coffin shut on the allegedly fallacious claims of the Swifties who have been brave enough to stand and be counted.  And if you did lie to us, then tell us.  We?re big boys. 

You just might stun us into forgiving you and voting for you, because the public hasn?t seen a truth dealing Democrat presidential hopeful in ages; one who, when caught red-handed lying about his past or humping an intern, actually admits it and repents.  Just tell us your ego got in the way? you trumped your ?Nam service because your Senate record and your days spent carrying Mike Dukakis? briefcase are sorta ? well, lackluster. 

Look, even if you don?t get elected, if you lied and now confess it, at least you?ll sleep better at night and something really rewarding will happen.  Allergan© will hire you to be one of their Botox spokes models.  Or maybe you?ll get an offer to get into celebrity boxing.  I?m thinkin? a John Kerry vs. Janet Reno match could prove a lucrative contest.  I know it would blow away, ratings wise, last Thursday?s Joey Buttafuoco vs. Joanie Laurer bout. Continued...

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About The Author
Doug Giles’ new book “If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going!" is now available. Ann Coulter says "Doug Giles is a substantive and funny tour de force for traditional values.” Doug’s talk show and video blog can be seen and heard at www.ClashRadio.com.
 
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