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Saturday, April 24, 2004
Doug Giles :: Townhall.com Columnist
Day Dreamin' Anti-Dude Dames
by Doug Giles
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What do the anti-dude dames daydream about?  Well ? I can think of 10 fantasies right off the top of my unapologetic, heterosexual, white, Anglo-Saxon, protestant, testosterone-fog-loving head.  Ready?

1.   Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche would get back together and adopt a cat.  Lovely!

2.   Rush Limbaugh would choke to death on a plate of Hooter?s hot wings.

3.   Newt Gingrich would actually turn into a newt, relocate to a Madagascar rain forest and be relentlessly chased by the Crocodile Hunter.

4.   Hillary Clinton would run for President in 2004 with Melissa Etheridge as her running mate. Yummy!

5.   Thelma and Louise would experience a cinematic resurrection, which would yield up the theatrical release of ?Thelma and Louise Part 2: Revenge of the Bra Burners?.

6.   K.D. Lang would do another album with Tony Bennett, only this time they?ll sing her lesbian ballads. Oh, behave!

7.   Janeane Garafalo would permanently replace Brian Kilmeade on ?Fox and Friends?.

8.   The script of ?Boys On The Side? would be written into the U.S. Constitution.

9.   George Washington?s face would be removed from the dollar bill to be replaced by a glamour shot of Gloria Alred.

10. The line in the pledge of allegiance would be changed from ?One Nation, under God?? to ?One Nation, run by Broads.?

This is what the feminists daydream about while they?re shopping for golf shirts, stretch pants and at-home-hair-cut kits.

Because I am a man, my opinion regarding the role of women in society no longer counts.  Not because I?m not properly briefed regarding women?s issues, but because I am a Christian, conservative, white male.  Yes sir, I?m the new millennium?s latest whipping boy ? the receptacle of all society?s ills ? the pariah of postmodernism ? the spawn of all societal sewage.  At least according to the feministas.

Yes, the decisively masculine, pro-Constitution, pro-10 Commandments, pro-Pledge of Allegiance, pro-Second Amendment, pro-meat eating, pro-hard working, pro-Freedom of Speech loving man ? you know, the type of guy who built the country that radical, lesbian, feminists have the freedom to complain about, and do their best to tear down.  Well, this type of man has been temporarily vilified and tossed into the current compost heap of political correctness.  And, thus, his opinion is null and void.

Just what does a man know, anyway?  According to the feminists ? nothing. 

And not only does the WASPy man know nothing, but he better not say things like:

·    The feminists spit on everything that?s based on Judeo/Christian ethics.

·    The feminists will gladly get rid of your church or synagogue. Continued...

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About The Author
Doug Giles’ new book “If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going!" is now available. Ann Coulter says "Doug Giles is a substantive and funny tour de force for traditional values.” Doug’s talk show and video blog can be seen and heard at www.ClashRadio.com.
 
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