The New Year is not only a time for making resolutions; it is also a time for hoping for a better year. So here is one man's wish list.

Wish No. 1: All NBA players will get rid of their tattoos.

While I acknowledge that some wonderful people have a tattoo, as a rule, people with the amount of tattoos the average basketball player has are troubled souls. And given the behavior associated with many NBA players, they are not only troubled; they cause trouble.

Wish No. 2: The ACLU will create a leftist Boy Scouts.

The ACLU and other leftist groups are highly accomplished at destroying good institutions such as the Boy Scouts. But they rarely build good institutions. So instead of trying to destroy the Boy Scouts -- because the Scouts require its members to make an oath to God and country and because the Scouts believe that boys and men who publicly announce they are sexually attracted only to males should not be Scouts -- the ACLU should build something for boys in the image of its values. Since it is so easy to destroy, dear leftists, why not try to build?
Start perhaps with a Progressive Boy Scouts that will have no oaths to God and will welcome all males who announce they are homosexual. Then one day we will see which Boy Scouts produces better people.

Wish No. 3: Celebrities will refrain from critically commenting on the war in Iraq.

Freedom of speech guarantees the right of every American, certainly including celebrities, to speak publicly on any subject they desire. But there would be something refreshing if the next time Susan Sarandon or Alec Baldwin were asked about the war in Iraq, they answered something like this: "I have an opinion and am flattered that you have asked me to express it. However, nothing about acting in movies gives me any greater insight into questions of war and peace than fixing faucets gives a plumber. Furthermore, in a divided country such as ours, surely the best thing I can do with my gift of an acting ability is to continue to make Americans laugh, cry, escape for two hours from their troubles, and visit our fighting men in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Wish No. 4: The home run and other batting records of Barry Bonds and other steroid-using Major League Baseball players will all have an asterisk affixed to them.

Speaking about the effects of steroids, the late baseball star Ken Caminiti told Sports Illustrated, "It's still a hand-eye coordination game, but the difference is the ball is going to go a little farther." Hence, the need for an asterisk.
Wish No. 5: All those Americans who said they would move to Canada if George W. Bush were re-elected will do so. Continued...