Q. Since the economy tanked, I've been underemployed. I've applied for multiple jobs where I would be paid what I deserve and love the work, but I never get the offer. I am sick of being rejected, sick of failing, and sick of all the work to find something. Should I lower my sights and just be happy with a paycheck?

A. No! A successful, interesting career always requires an inordinate amount of risk taking, rejection and short-term failure. A rich work life also demands that you continue to make mistakes, learn and suffer uncomfortable disappointments.

None of us enjoys emotional discomfort, and most of us prefer approval, success and safe guarantees of acceptance. If you aspire to sweep floors and are utterly content, you don't have a problem. If your dreams are any bigger than a breadbox, you will suffer discouragement and despair.

Realize that feeling discouragement simply means you are taking risks that matter to you. Also understand that a huge component of succeeding has to do with merely showing up over and over again and asking for what you want. Rejection is painful, and each rejection teaches you something about what doesn't work or who not to ask.

Psychologists and sociologists have been fascinated over the last decade with a trait they call "resiliency." They have been studying how it is that some people experience severe adversity and thrive and others experience mild challenge and drown.

Research has shown that resilient people share the following habits:

--They are willing to repeatedly ask for help.

--They interpret failure as an outside problem to be solved and not personal.

--They tenaciously believe they can find solutions. Continued...