And what about paying for daycare or pre-school for the grandkids? As we all know, in many young families both parents need to work to make ends meet and the cost of childcare can be a real burden. Your help here could have a tremendously positive cross-generation impact.

Keeping a roof over their heads. Ideally young adults should be able to budget for basic living costs, including rent and utilities. The struggle for many just getting started is coming up with move-in costs such as first and last month's rent plus deposit. This can be an excellent opportunity to help get a young person off the ground and encourage smart budgeting. Of course there may be times -- especially now with layoffs looming everywhere -- when you might need to help cover other expenses. But rather than just paying the bill, consider offering a loan with specific terms for paying it back. By doing so, you'll be easing a burden while still requiring accountability.

If you have the means, helping with a down payment on a first house is a positive way to offer support. Whether you make it a gift or structure it as a loan, the point is that you're giving financial help toward a concrete goal that carries with it both rewards and responsibilities.

Promoting financial responsibility. Chances are there will be other times you may need to help your grown kids financially. You may be asked to help with a car purchase, career counseling or a professional wardrobe. By all means, help if you can. The key is to make sure you're comfortable with what you're giving -- and your kids know what's expected in return.

Making a gift. For some families, helping the next generation is part of estate planning. If you're in a position where reducing your taxable estate during your lifetime makes sense, you can gift up to $13,000 a year to an individual without incurring gift taxes ($26,000 a year if you're a married couple splitting gifts.) Also, any direct payments for tuition or medical expenses are not taxable gifts and are not included in the $13,000 annual limit or $1-million lifetime limit. You might also consider contributing to a 529 College Savings Plan -- an excellent opportunity for grandparents to make a significant, targeted contribution.

How you give to your family and what you give is, of course, related to your own financial situation -- and should never jeopardize your own financial stability. But it's also related to your values. If, along with financial help, you can pass on a sense of responsibility and a desire for independence, your gift will be that much greater. And you can feel comfortable that you're doing more than writing a check -- you're enhancing a life, and quite possibly lives in generations to come.