I hate to say it, but sometimes Republican politicians don't seem overly bright. As you're all very much aware, the Democrats in Washington are making political hay out of the fact that Bush and Gonzales fired eight U.S. attorneys, and then, for no good reason, lied about their motives. All they should have done was to point out that hiring and firing these people are the sole concern of the president, and that when Bill Clinton took up residence in the White House, one of the first things he and Janet Reno did was to fire every single U.S. attorney.

Being a U.S. attorney is not the same as being a Supreme Court justice. It's not a lifetime career. You want security? Get a job at the Post Office. But of course when Clinton lowered the boom on all those lawyers who'd been appointed by Reagan and Bush I, neither the media nor the GOP raised a stink about it. Now, maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but I choose to believe that any time a lawyer gets fired, an angel gets his wings.

Lately, the Democrats in the House and Senate have been trying to pass bills that would set a date for our withdrawal from Iraq. And, frankly, I'm delighted. Not because I agree with them, you understand, but because it allows them to show their true colors. Or, in this case, color…yellow. It truly is a timetable to surrender. It goes to prove how silly people are who insist that there's really no difference between Democrats and Republicans. Liberals would prefer to see America lose in Iraq and to see Iraq fall prey to the terrorists than to see George Bush in a position to claim a victory.

But even on this all-important issue, the only way the leftists could ensure party unity was by tacking on billions of dollars in earmarks. These two bills contained so much pork, they had four legs and little curly tails and went "whee-whee-whee" all the way home.

Next, I'd like to know how it is that liberals never get tired of making fun of President Bush for the way he speaks, forever taking him to task for mangling "nuclear," but take no notice of the fact that when discussing his wife’s illness, John Edwards turned "biopsy" into "bopsy."

When people have 25 bucks to lay out for an unreadable book allegedly written by, say, John Kerry, Barack Obama or one of the Clintons, it's clear even to me that we Americans have way too much disposable income. No wonder the liberals figure taxes aren't high enough.

With prisoners being encouraged to spend their time working out in the weight room, it's probably a good thing that the cops -- at least here in L.A. -- all seem to be on steroids. The other day I was in a local deli, and there were five cops seated at a table. The last time I saw a group of people that huge, they were female shot putters from East Germany.

It's not often that I find myself in sync with a Mexican billionaire, but I couldn't help agreeing with Senor Carlos Slim when he scoffed at Bill Gates and Warren Buffet for playing Santa Claus. "Poverty," he observed, "isn't solved by donations, but by building good businesses." The same thought had occurred to me some years back when Ted Turner pledged a billion dollars to the U.N. Had he, instead, started a company that would have given employment to thousands of Americans, he'd have spent his money far more wisely, even if it didn't garner him nearly as much attention.

There are, as John Edwards keeps insisting, two Americas. They just don't happen to be the two he keeps yapping about -- the rich and the poor, the haves and the have-nots. Instead, there are the liberals and the conservatives. The left regards America as a big bully that's out to oppress the rest of the world. Those on the right think America is the last great hope of mankind. The fact that liberals have to lie about this country should convince any objective observer as to who's telling the truth. The left, for example, insists that we invaded Iraq for its oil. And, yet, even after all this time, not only have we not confiscated their oil fields, we haven't even used Iraqi oil revenue to finance, as I think we should, that country's reconstruction.

I find it interesting that although it's Hollywood's left-wingers who are most vocal and opinionated when it comes to their politics, when it comes to actually running for office, it's inevitably those on the right who have put their theatrical careers aside to serve. I refer to George Murphy, Ronald Reagan, Fred Grandy, Sonny Bono, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Fred Thompson. And while one could argue that at least in a few of these cases, their show business careers weren't exactly flourishing, I don't see the likes of Barbra Streisand, Jane Fonda or Ed Asner, tossing their hats in the ring.

Finally, I think it's worth noting that in spite of what jealous people say about California's lacking three of the four seasons, a very nippy winter has finally ended and it is definitely spring once again. Of course, springtime is different here in Los Angeles than it is upstate, say, in the Bay Area. Down here, it's when the flowers and orange blossoms start burgeoning, and people once again regard their swimming pools as something other than repositories for fallen leaves. In San Francisco, on the other hand, spring is when a young man's fancy turns to other fancy young men.