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Monday, January 29, 2007
Burt Prelutsky :: Townhall.com Columnist
In praise of oil
by Burt Prelutsky
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Please pay close attention because we’re going to be discussing numbers, and I happen to know that most of you are lousy at math.

In 1933, a movie ticket cost a quarter, a hamburger was a dime, and a soda pop was a nickel. Assuming you actually had a dollar in 1933, you could go out on a date for a dollar and come home with change.

In 1936, a gallon of gas cost 25 cents. A year later, my dad bought a new Plymouth sedan for less than $800. In 1946, it was the car he was still driving when our family moved from Chicago to L.A.

In 1949, a 14-oz bottle of ketchup cost 15 cents, and a t-bone steak cost 55 cents-a-pound.

My reason for giving you this brief history in practical economics is to point out that the price of gas has only gone up about 10-fold in 68 years. Compare it to some of those other everyday items. Do you think you could buy a new automobile for $7,800? Buy any t-bones lately for $5.50? Get into any first-run movies for $2.50? You can’t even buy a bag of popcorn for that price. And try spending 40 cents on your first date, and I can guarantee you won’t have a second.

So, why is it that it’s only the price of gasoline that makes so many people go berserk? I believe it’s because the Left has politicized petroleum. We’ve all heard them ranting: “No blood for oil.” They insist that George Bush took America to war because of it. They ignore the fact that the Iraqis now own their own oil, and they ignore, too, the indisputable fact that Bush is clearly pro-Israel, although Israel’s only oil source is olives.

I’ll admit that I can imagine going to war over oil, just as I can well imagine going to war over water. Oil, after all, is as essential to an industrialized nation as water is to the survival of an individual.

It would be nice if we could free ourselves of our dependence on Arab nations and Russia for our energy, but sun power and wind power just won’t cut it. Ironically, the same tree-huggers who resent this dependence also oppose mining for coal, drilling for Alaskan oil, and using nuclear energy. These are the same Neanderthals who rail that Republican Bush doesn’t make a move without first checking with the Saudis, even though the Saudis urged him not to take out Saddam Hussein, but never get around to explaining why Kennedy, Johnson, Carter and Clinton, did nothing to free us of the necessity to go hat-in-hand to the Arabs.

Frankly, I find it amazing that in spite of wars, inflation and greed, gas has only increased by a thousand percent in about 70 years, and, moreover, has been greatly improved during that time. Wouldn’t you think there’d be a bigger stink raised about the price of movies having gone up three thousand percent, while having only gotten worse during that same period?

So, my question is this: Where in the Bill of Rights is it written that filling up your SUV should cost you the same as it cost your grandpa to gas up his Model-T?

In conclusion, let me just say that anybody in the ponytail and granny glasses crowd who sincerely believes that oil isn’t all that important is free to do without, thus creating a surplus and thereby lowering the cost for those of us who actually live in the 21st century.

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About The Author
W. Burt Prelutsky is an accomplished, well-rounded writer and author of "The Secret of Their Success: Interviews with Legends and Luminaries."
 
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As well stated by Perlutzky...
...the same folks who are against the use of fossil fuels also oppose every other viable form of energy we have.

Domestic drilling" Fuggeddaboutit! It might upset some caribou, you unfeeling dolts!

Coal fired plants? Are you kidding? That's both mining AND burning, the environmentalist's double whammy!

Hydroelectric? That means damming rivers, and the poor salmon are already going extinct because they can't get up the rivers to spawn (nevermind the fact that you can buy salmon in any grocery store-never could figure that out!)In fact, in the west where I live, there is a move afoot to remove the dams, thereby reducing hydroelectric power (causing the price to increase drastically) and returning millions of acres of productive farm land back to the deserts they used to be.

Nuclear energy? Didn't you see "Silkwood" and that movie with Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas back in the 70s?

Wood? Too many trees! Too much smoke and CO2!

Trash to energy? Too many carcinogens!

Wind power? Well, maybe, but you could build a solid block of windmills a mile wide stretching from Seattle to Key West and not meet the energy the US uses by morning coffee break.

Solar power? See wind power, above.

Horses? Do you know how much methane gas, let alone urine and manure, the necessary horsepower we'd need would produce? Or how much land we'd have to clear for pasture and hay alone? When we quit using horses as a primary means of transportation, the country wasn't even a hundred million people. It's over 3 times that population now.

Ethanol and bio-diesel? Again, do you realize how much land would have to be devoted to the production of corn? And what do you think will happen to the price of said corn, and what affect will those prices have on citizens of poor countries for whom corn is a staple, when it's production is controlled by their state-run energy companies for greater profit?

So, I guess that's it...no oil, no woodm, no coal, no hydro, no nuclear, no wind or solar...we're all doomed! DOOMED!!

Nice knowin' ya!

One more Word to the Wise
Remember, my stock advice comes with a money-back guarantee! If you're not 100% satisfied, I'll refund every nickel you paid me for it!
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