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Friday, May 30, 2008
Brent Bozell :: Townhall.com Columnist
Sex and the Skittish
by Brent Bozell
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That sleazy yet hallowed HBO television series "Sex and the City" is now in theaters as a feature film, and the cultural elites are having a religious experience. Newsweek previewed the movie by reporting how an estimated 50,000 people, some from faraway lands like Australia and Japan, "make the pilgrimage each year to the shrine," the fictional New York City home of "Sex" protagonist Carrie Bradshaw. The magazine chronicled a tour group standing silently, some weeping.

Am I the only one who thinks that those estimated 50,000 people out there make the Trekkies look sane by comparison? But Newsweek seems to lament how the movie isn't outrageous enough. The headline is "Girls Gone Mild," and the trailer is all about our protagonist getting married -- maybe. Writer Julia Baird was amazed at "how many people speak of it in hyperbolic terms: as a revolution, a phenomenon, a cataclysm, almost an insurgency."

"Almost an insurgency"? I'm starting to believe Ms. Baird is one of those 50,000 people out there.

Plopping this series at the cineplex with an R-rating is certainly a more appropriate venue than landing it on HBO or TBS. But the movie has set the media critics off on another wave of tributes to the TV show for glamorizing independent career women with minds of their own, fashionable women who were selfish and sexually adventurous, but still ladylike enough to lust also after $600 designer shoes. It was touted as sparking openness and candor, as if what America needs is more women talking openly about flatulence and pubic hair. The trailer includes jokes about crotch-shaving. How bold.

What this feminist phenomenon didn't have and didn't need, apparently, was a woman who would choose to marry young. That looked like the frightening side of the fence, a prison wall. That didn't seem like a decision at all. It wasn't so much a choice as a surrender to servitude. The series could have been called "Sex and the Skittish" for all the phobias about the boredom and lost independence of married life.

Certainly the sexual revolution had come and gone long before this show premiered on HBO in 1998, and that year is remembered more for a baby-boomer sex scandal in the White House than the sexual insurgency on pay-cable TV. But that doesn't mean "Sex and the City" wasn't tearing down walls of convention for the young people who weren't around for Woodstock.

On ABCNews.com, reporter Sheila Marikar had to resort to an alias to describe a teenager obsessed with the show. "Lisa" from Long Island became a huge fan of "Sex and the City" when she was 14. She quickly lost her virginity and soon "graduated" to ordering cosmopolitans at bars she snuck into and "cheating on her boyfriend with up to seven other guys -- in one week."

"Lisa" told ABC, "When you're that age you try to emulate people on TV. Carrie smoked, so I smoked, Samantha looked at hooking up with random people as not a big deal, so that's what I did, too," she admitted. "It wasn't 'Sex and the City's' fault. I love the show, but I think it made it a little easier to justify my behavior."

But this is good, something to celebrate, true liberation, right? It's never the show's fault. People make their own decisions, and if they make irresponsible decisions, they have to live with the consequences. But television means never having to say you're sorry or responsible. Hollywood can certainly argue that it didn't make the naughty people act on their naughty impulses. It merely told them it would be glamorous and liberating to do so.

Newsweek's Baird agreed that the loosening of sexual mores is undeniable, but insisted HBO never told twentysomethings what to do. "It revealed what they were already doing -- and emboldened them to do more." But this show didn't embolden men to do more. When it comes to sexual adventures, it's an easy if overgeneralizing joke on men that they don't need much more encouragement than a "yes." Whatever emboldening HBO did was aimed at women, who were always the natural audience.

The show never boldly declared to women that love was bunk or romance was for suckers. It had enough focus on finding a lifelong love to keep an edge of sweetness, but in the end a skeptic can still suspect that this was just a marketing ploy to soften the edges of its sexual aggression.

Just as for men, HBO suggested that every woman needs a good, long period (perhaps several decades long) of persistent experimentation in vivacious variety until they're old and tired and unattractive enough to settle down. Marriage becomes a sort of wistful retirement, a Leisure World for playboys and playgirls. But Hollywood never really retires from self-indulgence.

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About The Author
Founder and President of the Media Research Center, Brent Bozell runs the largest media watchdog organization in America.
 
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What A Sad, Strange Little Man
It sounds like your just had a fit of rage over something that could only be viewed by subscribers to HBO. Here's a suggestion for you: Get a divorce. It would be the most liberating thing you will ever have.
I've said it before: Marriages and families are mental prisons. The playboy lifestyle is something that should be commended, not condemned, because the playboys are free to pursue their dreams and interests, not having to bend to the whims of nagging wives and bratty little pukes. How do you think Tony Stark would have become Iron Man if he was strapped down by a wife whose S&M would be scrubbing and mopping?
Sounds like Sex And The City would be better than that god-awful Prince Caspian movie. It's considered the worst of the Narnia books by fans of the Chronicles of Narnia. Besides, I'm far more fascinated by Samantha Jones talking about her vagina than some big battle sequence we've already seen before in Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King.
Oh, and by the way, I'm a straight man, in case I was sounding like a feminazi.

I'm not a Sex in the City fan, but...
What's the big deal? The show was originally shown on HBO, a pay cable network that people have to choose to allow into their home and even pay for the privilege. Same thing for seeing the movie. People have to pay for it. It's their choice.

Sure the show and movie is about a pack of self-obsessed, neurotic Manahattanites with about as much connection to an ordinary American's life as that of pond scum, but if you don't like it, don't watch it.

Lighten up Brent.

sevenlicks


"Oh, and by the way, I'm a straight man, in case I was sounding like a feminazi.


You don't sound like a man. Your narcissism makes you sound like a punk. (Just making


dear webviking


If Brent hadn't written this, somebody else would've. If it irks vikings, don't read his pieces. Read what pleases you.

A perceptive critic...
... observed (during this show's original run) that it was in fact a prolonged gay guy's fantasy life, done up with women instead playing the leads. Could explain a lot.
Finally, does anyone out there see what's supposed to be so good looking about Sarah Jessica Parker? With that face, she's a shoe-in for the lead if they ever film "Seabiscuit 2."

Webviking
I've never watched "Sex and the City" either and have no plans to do so. Ever. It is my right, as you say, not to watch the trash.

Clearly the boys know this little girl (for so she is) who thinks she is cool in doing what a fictional TV character does is one easy lay-and nothing more. That's OK with you, then, that a child who does not have the wisdom to understand that what is on screen is not real, is allowing herself to be used in such a cavalier fashion? Ideas, such as those too mature for kids to be exposed to, do have consequences, after all. It won't be long until she is either in an abortionist's "clinic" or down at the welfare office, all because she had easy access to "mature" subject matter on TV. Most assuredly she will eventually be in therapy, because she won't understand why sex isn't the real foundation of a lifelong, genuine attachment she'd been led to believe it was.

That is Brent's point-not that such stuff is "out there" in the first place.




The7Sticks

You must have had a pretty lousy family upbringing, to have such a warped view of marriage and kids. Stay single until you grow out of your narcissism.

BTW (Psssst): Iron Man is a comic book character. You sound like a 12 yr old. Or that's where your maturity level is. What a hoot that was, in making your case.


Marriage..a sort of wistful retirement
In point of fact...they don’t their “wistful retirement” if they wait that long and live a lascivious lifestyle. If you look at the statistics you begin to see that they don’t get to marry at all in most cases. After a woman gets to a certain age she isn't as desirable. When we marry and grow old together we don’t necessarily see each other in the light we reflect now, but in the light of light reflected when we were young and look good. That is the beauty of marriage and commitment.
These women who have “sown their wild oats” may be past the ideal child bearing period. She will certainly lose the radiance that only youth can bring. She is competing with women who are young. She is competing with these women for men who want to marry. Do they want a younger woman or a middle aged woman who have and thought marriage interfered with her search for fulfillment, is gaining weight, may be developing health problems, and has already demonstrated that she has an attitude problem? Guess who they pick?
Who has benefitted from the sexual revolution? According to a study that came out about 30 years ago, the only ones who benefitted were older wealthy men. Why? Because now “they could enjoy the nubile pleasures of more than one woman” without fear of being sanctioned by society. As for the middle aged women they left behind who raised their children and helped them to succeed? The author noted that “their sexual lives were pretty much over.”
They don’t end up in “wistful retirement”, they mostly just end up unwanted or worse; end up used, abused and cast aside.

Grow up
Am I imagining it, or have all outraged social conservatives forgotten where the off switch is on their TVs?

Of course most of them sound off without even seeing the stuff they whine about.

Why not leave the criticism to people who have grown to adulthood and can appreciate the difference between flaky television and reality?

Stuart

The Skankification of America
I absolutely love how these high-brows always point out that we can always "turn off our TV's" or "change the channel". That is, in fact, what is done at my home. Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly difficult to protect our daughters from these messages outside the home (such as in advertising), as well as from predatory sexual behavior by those whose parents do NOT "change the channel", or monitor their kids' computer use.

BTW, if you don't like the columns on TH, "change the channel" and go elsewhere. We all know that won't happen though. The trolls are here mainly because of an adolescent need for attention, even if negative.

dreadnaught and webviking
Dreadnaught: I do agree with you. If a reader doesn't like an article, let him read another one. TH is full of good, serious analysis of things much more important than "Sex and the City". On the other hand, I think that Webviking has a valid point: "Sex & the City" just doesn't deserve even an ounce of extra publicity. It makes our "Dumbest generation" look even dumber... Let's just ignore it. BTW, another movier, "Juno", was a pretty good movie, that tried to promote not just conservative, but simply reasonable, kind, humane point of view. May be it was a beginning of a new trend? After all, even Carrie seems to be finally headed towards marriage... I am not planning to watch the movie to find out, though.

None,,,,
I think I agree with you. Marriage is a challenge at any age but most of the characters in Sex in the City are way too narcissitic to do anything but couple up for some mutual admiration.The clock ticks and their times are all well gone. Newer models of gold diggers offer more appealing bait to the main targets and the oldies get more and more tedious. When the constant chase for not mucho becomes too boring or depressing they are off to drydock land to rot slowly in the Manhattan sun.

The7Sticks
...you don't sound like a feminazi..just like 'typical'liberal scum.You must be proud of the moral decay your kind has fostered.


Consider the source
Mr. Bozell routinely inveighs against virtually any TV show or movie that has any sort of sexual theme at all. He is a conservative Catholic, and his religious views drive his political views. However, much of America does not share this religious vision. It is difficult to see what sort of cultural products Mr. Bozell would accept, apart from purely religious programming. He obsesses about sex in the movies and on TV. Am I the only reader who finds such obsession both annoying and suggestive?

Bouette
...and it is all brought to you by the ...you guessed it..the left wing,liberal Democrats.Give credit where credit is due.

Lighten up!
A fwe yaers ago I noticed that my 15-year old daugheter was watching "Sex and the City." I asked her if she'd mind if I joined her to watch an episode. So I did. Afterwards, I asked her what she tought. Her reply is just what a father wanted to hear. "Those girls lead such empty and meaningless lives." My daughter went through a "Sex and the City" phase, just like she liked boybands for a while. Now that's all in the past, and my kid volunteers in our Sunday School and runs the toddlers' summer program in our town library. I didn't freak out about "Sex," and neither did she.

Lighten up, folks.

R.I.P. Hollywood
HBO's Sex in the City and Deadwood reflect the poverty of imagination and creation of Hollywood playwrights. Four letter words freely spoken every five minutes doesn't make a good drama and women talking about their affairs or nonaffairs is more boring than watching paint dry.

I thought Friends was a great comedy series but movies about people looking for sex can be more boring than watching a five-hour baseball game. I’m sure most women would appreciate more intelligent programming and I'm not referring to idiotic monster and disaster epics.

I miss Carol Burnett and Harvey Korman, who just died recently. I'm sure many of us are tired of the dreck that TV producers put on every night. Talent is scarce and the proof is the popularity of the old sitcoms and the old movies.

Hollywood has lost its soul to leftist ideologues. May it rest in peace.



Morals
To Gestell: While I applaud your daughter's intelligence and discernment, I suspect your upbringing of her may have had a lot to do with her reaction to "Sex and the City". Parents, never underestimate the power of your positive influence on our kids. In most cases good works will reap good results.

To None: You are so right. The only people who have "benefitted"(and I use that term loosely) from the sexual revolution are rich older men. Too many have bought into the lie about how great and liberating it has been.

To UNC Doc: You are also so correct. I get weary of hearing how "we can change the channel". Why don't the counterculture crowd change their ways for a change so we don't constantly have to be on guard for our daughters' sake? As some poster here at Townhall once said: "I get tired of getting my leg pissed on and being told its only rain don't worry."

Gestell's daughter
goes to Sunday School?

Zealots
I get tired of religious zealots (especially Catholics) telling me, in their shrill voices what I should be allowed to watch on TV and at the cinema. I am not insisting that any of them go and watch any of what they don't like. The only members of society that should expect protection from explicit or violent material are the young, and there is a perfectly adequate censorial system available to do that in film and even on the internet. There is more than enough warning of the nature what you are about to view.

I will listen to your opinion but stop trying to tell me what is good for me. I do have sensibilities and a brain, you know.

Stuart

Whose Values Are Being Forced On Whom?
Those who are quick to say "lighten up", or call those who object to explicit programming (cable or not) are part of the problem, and a major contributor to "The Dumbest Generation".
There is a inherent selfishness in how one refuses to look at the larger picture with regard to effects on the population as a whole. Our culture has been degraded beyond repair, I fear.
How a parent can congratulate themselves for watching "Sex in the City" with their 15 year-old is beyond me. If she gives you an answer you want to hear, that's fine. There are other things that I would much rather have my teenager watching, however. Of course I will be labeled as a "religious zealout pushing my values down society's throat", which is laughable when you objectively look at media and see exactly how radical secularization has become.
Many of these "parents" trying to be their children's "friends" clearly feel guilty for their own history of sexual promiscuity, and find validation in these glamorous city dwellers jumping from bed to bed. Well, that's fine. It's just like those who defend their children's tattoos because they themselves have tattoos which they will never admit they regret getting. But hey, at least you are your child's "friend". I also doubt that there is a real father in the home, who would flinch at the idea of their daughters getting their messages from this dreck (even though they vigorously deny that they would EVER act anything like that).
Thank you, Sixties generation. You can always blame adolescent pregnancy, drug use, pornography, sexually transmitted diseases, crime, and "glamorous" single parenthood with it's inevitable profound financial obstacles on "religious zealouts forcing their values on us".
I get it. You are fighting against authority. Against the establishment. Memo to you -- Grow Up.

Thank You Sex In The City!
You give me the opportunity to point out a sk@nk to my pre-teen son, all from the safety of our living room couch. If 'Lisa's' mom/dad had been a parent and pointed out how those women are just std'd damaged goods in the real world, she might've made better choices for herself.

I would also like to thank those Valtrex (sp?) commercials for scaring the bejeezus out of him re: premarital sex.


reply to Gnome Sane
Don't worry, conservatives. I hasten to add that my family attends church, but it's not a real church. By that I mean it's one of those mainline Protestant churches, you know, the kind that aren't right-wing and Evangelical. I know that conservatives don't acknowledge any kind of churches but conservative ones.

So, I attend one of those churches you folks think of as dominated by the forces of darkness. Needless to say, I don't, but that's an argument for another time.

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