Really, I don't know how you do it. Day after day, month after month, year after year, you manage to convince the working world that you're good at your job. But there is one person who knows that you're a fake and a fraud. That person is you.
It's true! In a recent "Health Journal" feature in The Wall Street Journal, reporter Melinda Beck focuses on "Silencing the Voice that Says You're a Fraud." Her subject: seemingly successful people who secretly believe they are living a lie.
Successful people who secretly believe they're living a masquerade don't tell their bosses about their incompetence. They're crazy, but they're not stupid. Instead, these tortured souls aim their confession inward, punishing their own selves on the scope of their inadequacy. "I'm a terrible doctor. How did I get into medical school," says the physician to himself as he meets a new patient. "I'm a loser. I can't provide for my family, and I'll never be able to again," says the executive who loses his job after 25 productive years.
Of course, the physician may truly be a terrible doctor. The sad fact that Michael Jackson died with a prosthetic nose suggests that at least one doctor should have listened to his inner critic before picking up a scalpel. And as for the executive who believes she is a loser, welcome to the club. Most executives are losers who are incapable of accomplishing any productive work. That's why they're executives.
Still, let's assume that your inner voice has got the story wrong. You're not a bumbling homunculus hiding in the body of a high-achieving businessperson. The challenge is to convince the one person you have to be with, 24/7 -- yourself.
Needless to say, this is a case for a passel of psychologists. Like Robert L. Leahy, a New York therapist, who sees a connection with excessive self- criticism and eating disorders, self-mutilation and body dysmorphic disorder. "We have expanded what we expect of material success and physical appearance so that it's completely unrealistic," Leahy says, explaining why certain self-critics are preoccupied with their perceived physical flaws.
It could happen. What if the pudgy, disheveled, unattractive lump you see in the mirror every morning before you leave for work is not really you, but a only a distorted mental image caused by unwarranted self-hatred? What if you are really a slim, fit, beautiful person plagued by a serious mental condition? Go on! Take another look.
Hey, good news! You're not crazy. You really are pudgy.
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