Sure, you're smart. Yes, you're good looking. Of course, you're talented and motivated and hard working. But you're also honest, and so you must admit that despite all your gifts, you still have not achieved the success you desire and deserve.

The reason?

Emotionally, you're an idiot.

That's right! Time to face your old bugaboo, emotional intelligence, or as we call it in the world of pop-biz books, EQ.

EQ isn't like IQ, according to Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, authors of the recently published "Emotional Intelligence 2.0," a copy of which was pressed into my hot little hands by a predatory PR person attempting to utilize mind control on someone with the emotional intelligence of a head of broccoli.

According to the authors, you can't improve your IQ, no matter how many episodes of "Brooke Knows Best" you watch, but your EQ is a work in progress. All it takes to take your EQ from moron to marvel is a little self-awareness and self-management. Of course, because people with low EQs lack the ability to be self-aware and self-managing, your personal improvement program may be a tad slow in getting off the ground. No problem. From what I've noticed, after a weekend of carousing with your lowlife friends, you're a little slow to get off the ground, as well.

The authors provide a link to an online EQ test in which you rate your reactions from "never" to "always" on a variety of situations. This requires judging how often you "do things you regret when you are upset" or "admit your shortcomings." (Clearly, the test itself has shortcomings. How can you admit shortcomings when you don't have any?)

My only problem with the test was that it was too short. I answered the first batch of questions honestly, thinking that I could make up for my obvious lack of EQ as the exercise progressed. Imagine my surprise when I was dumped into the results section and found my EQ was a dismal 67 out of a 100. It's a number so low, more than 79 percent of folks in my demographic group beat me. Continued...