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Thursday, June 04, 2009
Bob Goldman :: Townhall.com Columnist
My Botox Resume
by Bob Goldman
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Oh, the sacrifices that must be made when you lose your job. You may have to give up your company-leased Lexus, or sell the vacation house in Belize that you have been writing off as a branch office. Without a job or an expense account, you may have to downgrade from a suite at the Ritz-Carleton to something more modest, like an empty refrigerator box under the freeway.

Go without a job long enough, and the sacrifices get even more painful. You might have to give up private school and send your kid for home schooling, assuming you can find a home that will take him. Your country club membership will go immediately, though you might be able to get a job as a caddy. You also won't be able to keep up your gym membership and could revert back to your natural flabby state. But don't sweat it. There's no better diet plan than being unable to buy food.

No matter what indigent indignities await you in your new state of unemployment, rest assured that there is one life essential that you will never give up. It's a drive that is stronger than hunger, or sex, or even the innate, genetic need to watch "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

You can fire me, you can humble me, but believe me -- you will never take away my Botox.

It's true! According to an article in The Wall Street Journal by Rhonda L. Rundle, "Vanity appears to be trumping frugality in a looks-conscious society."

Rundle goes on: "Despite the dismal economic climate, most women -- and men -- who undergo appearance-enhancing treatments such as Botox injections are spending hundreds or even thousands of dollars a year to maintain the regimen."

Though you and I are natural beauties whose striking good looks require no artificial enhancements, I do understand the decision to keep the Botox flowing. The need to look youthful is a critical career skill in a highly competitive job market. In the face of an economic meltdown, you don't want your face to melt down, too. Or, as Kathleen Hudson, a 57-year old marketing consultant puts it, "If you're in the business world and you want to be competitive with the younger people, you need to stay on top of your game." Continued...

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About The Author

Bob Goldman is a business humor writer.

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