I don't want to be a Negative Norbert, but it is entirely possible that before 2009 is over, you will need to dust off your resume. Hopefully, you will be requiring a retread of your curriculum vitae because a major, super-lucrative executive position is being offered to you, but even if your new dream career is to become an assistant greeter at Wal-Mart, your resume will definitely influence your chance of slipping on that handsome red jacket.

Which is why, I suppose, that so many otherwise honest people turn their resumes into tissues of fibs, half-truths and downright dirty lies.

As you can imagine, I didn't need a spectacular resume to get my current job. My brilliance, insight, and the simple fact that my mother owns this newspaper, were all the qualifications I needed. Still, that didn't stop me from including an M.B.A .from Harvard, a Ph.D. in paleontology from the Sorbonne, and a two-year stint as the U.S. ambassador to the Court of St. James.

I didn't augment my resume because I needed to. I just wanted to keep in practice should this exalted position go bye-bye.

Unfortunately, you who are about to enter the job hunting maelstrom of 2009 will have to face strong, economic headwinds. With job losses at historic highs, there are more candidates out there -- some of them far more qualified than you. (OK, let's be honest. All of them more qualified than you.) According to the experts, a tight job market tends to inspire job applicants to exaggerate their accomplishments. This can backfire. I mean, how many candidates can claim to have pitched no-hitters in the World Series, except, of course, for you and me.

Employers, for their part, are tightening up when it comes to checking resumes, according to a chilling article in The Wall Street Journal. In this increasingly hostile business environment, about 90 percent now perform background checks on potential employees, though the intensity of the vetting process does vary. Some companies hire corporate detective agencies to sift through the minutiae of their candidate's qualifications. Others flip a coin. Based on the caliber of your company's recent executive hires, I'd say you're definitely working for a bunch of coin flippers.

The most common areas for resume finagling include lying about the reasons for leaving your last job, results and accomplishments in your previous job, and past job responsibilities. Continued...