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Thursday, January 15, 2009
Bob Goldman :: Townhall.com Columnist
Looking for a Job? Say Uncle
by Bob Goldman
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When it comes to looking for jobs, it pays to have a family connection. That's good news for you, because you've got a rich uncle. His name is Sam and he is hiring.

Be honest now -- you've always harbored a certain skepticism about people who turn their backs on the exciting, competitive world of private enterprise to secure a sinecure in the ranks of the civil service. But now that the exciting, competitive world seems headed for the dumpster, those dull, boring, permanent jobs complete with pensions and health benefits sound pretty darn good.

Though I have always found government employees to be -- with the possible exception of Vice President Dick Cheney -- helpful and pleasant, I never did consider joining the ranks until I heard an interview with Dennis V. Damp, the author of "The Book of US Government Jobs."

Damp, who also runs www.federaljobs.net, is a wealth of information on how to put yourself on Uncle Sam's payroll. And a hefty payroll it is, with over 2,700,000 workers in full-time government jobs, the average salary for which exceeds $67,000. Throw in fringe benefits and the average federal worker's compensation is over $105,000!

Add a snappy uniform and the possibility of a lifetime supply of high-quality government ballpoint pens, and you've got an opportunity that could be worthy of consideration. Let's take a closer look and see if Uncle Sam wants you, and vice versa.

Right off the bat, it seems clear that not every government job is as good as it sounds. On my first visit to federaljobs.net, I immediately clicked on "Overseas Positions." Fresh from my third viewing of "Quantum of Solace," I could definitely picture myself strolling the Champs-Elysees, a pouch full of diplomatic mail on my shoulder, and a dinner date with a willowy international diplomat in my future.

Unfortunately, such posh postings might not be easy to acquire. "Individuals wanting to work overseas must meet certain stringent requirements," the website explains. "You must be able to physically adapt to the conditions at various locations that may not have adequate health care facilities." Continued...

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About The Author

Bob Goldman is a business humor writer.

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Cheney?
What's with the digs on Vice President Cheney? They were kind of out-of-the-blue, and unrelated to this rather insipid article. I guess any dig at Cheney is supposed to be automatically funny just because, well, it's a dig at Cheney. Have a little damn respect. I believe history will judge him as perhaps the most effective, competent Vice President we have ever had.

Obama would hire you
The sad thing is President Obama will hire as many as he can to spark the economy. The best way to receive insurance is becoming a civil servant. The best way to put the country back to work is declare a national emergency and take over the federal reserve, instead of nationizing banks any more than they already are.
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