Sure, theyll laugh at you, but thats on the outside. On the inside, theyll be filled with hatred, jealousy and envy. And wont that make you feel good!

Once your personal assistant has arrived, youll immediately want him or her -- were into equal opportunity servitude here -- to interface with your manager. Since you spend the entirety of your workdays trying to avoid your manager, it may take a little bit of brainpower to come up with a reason for a meeting. Dont try anything too complicated. You could send your assistant up to Mahogany Row to confirm a business lunch a week from Wednesday. Of course, you have no lunch scheduled, but your boss wont want to admit it. Especially not in front of an efficient, officious personal assistant in Jimmy Choos, who is busily typing away at her Blackberry, and checking the M&Ms in the bosss bowl with a Tiffanys silver candy dipstick.

Currently, you used maybe eight of the 15 minutes youve contracted, and look at all the accomplishments. Youve impressed the receptionist, intimidated your colleagues and planned a private luncheon meeting with the boss, where you can continue to spin your web of deception and deceit -- easily netting yourself a big promotion and a raise to boot.

I was quite impressed with your personal assistant, the boss will surely remark as you settle back after lunch with snifters of Armagnac and contraband Montecristos. I could use someone like that myself.

Sorry, sir, you reply. Between Sergey and myself, the poor girl doesnt have a minute to spare.