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Sunday, March 04, 2007
Alan Sears :: Townhall.com Columnist
Utah Case Exemplifies Judicial Contempt for Biological Parents
by Alan Sears
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Until the Utah Supreme Court stepped forward on February 16th with its merciful breath of sanity, the best Cheryl Barlow had to hope for was a kind of "Sophie’s Choice."

According to incredible rulings of the state’s lower courts, she could either let her five-year-old daughter stay overnight alone with a woman who causes the child severe emotional distress and exposes her to attitudes and behavior that violate Barlow’s core faith beliefs … or go to jail.

That any caring mother should be placed in such a dilemma tells us just how serious things have become for conscientious moms and dads in a judicial system often more preoccupied with political correctness than parental rights.

Barlow was five months pregnant (by artificial insemination) with her daughter when she and her then-girlfriend, Keri Jones, obtained a civil union in Vermont. Both women were residents of Utah, which doesn’t recognize civil unions, and the state offered Jones no legal right to parental status of any kind, with regard to Barlow’s child.

Less than two years later, Barlow learned that her partner was engaged in an affair with another woman, and elected to dissolve their relationship. Soon afterwards, she became a Christian, renounced her former lesbian behavior, and, moved her child out of the lesbian environment and eventually to another state.

Jones, however, suddenly showed an aggressive new interest in cultivating a parenting relationship with Barlow’s child. She sued, and – in an unprecedented act of judicial activism and disregard for both Utah and United States Supreme Court decisions – a district court judge awarded her parental standing and visitation rights roughly equal to what a biological father would receive.

“The child’s best interest is not served by enforced visitation with a woman who, according to the U.S. Constitution, state law, and state public policy, has no legal claim for parental standing,” says Frank Mylar, an Alliance Defense Fund allied attorney who is representing Barlow. “It's unconscionable to take parental rights away from a loving mom to appease the demands of a legal stranger.

The "unconscionable" came pretty easily to the lower court judges, who assigned a Commissioners and a guardian ad litem to represent the child’s interests and evaluate all information relative to the custody situation. Bad enough to trample the constitutional presumption that a fit parent should decide what is best for her child; even worse, both the guardian and Commissioner brought a heavy personal bias to their responsibilities. They chose to ignore not only Barlow’s wishes for her own daughter, but the findings of a child psychologist (who reported that interacting with Jones caused serious emotional upheaval for the child).

Why?

Because, the Commissioner explained, the psychologist, like Barlow, is a professed Christian – and so incapable of unbiased assessment of anyone who practices homosexual behavior.

That the Commissioner himself might be incapable of unbiased assessment of Christians is not a possibility deemed worthy of consideration.

When Jones pressed for overnight visits with the girl (now living with her mother in Texas), the court ordered Barlow not only to comply, but to cover Jones’ travel fare. Barlow refused, based on her daughter’s strong reaction to these visits – so the court threatened her with everything from a $1,000 fine to up to 30 days in jail.

Happily, now, the Utah Supreme Court has re-discovered common sense, and Barlow and her daughter may soon be able to get on with their lives, free of Jones’ aggressions.

Still, this is far from an isolated case. Courts across the country are grappling with similar cases, all of which raise the fundamental issue of what it means to be a parent … or a family. If the issue is no longer purely biological, and doesn’t involve traditional adoption, what qualifies a person for legal authority in the life of a child? Is it enough to simply want to be a parent to this particular youngster? To have lived, even for a little while, in the same house as the child? Should desire and proximity really trump the biological claims of a mature, loving parent?

Sadly, more and more judges are saying “yes” to those questions, cutting our definitions of parenthood loose from the traditional moorings that have successfully guided societies for thousands of years. In their zeal to embrace an agenda that endorses homosexual behavior, these judges are legally mugging moms and dads all over the nation – supplanting the natural authority of parents to determine their children’s environment and influences with the crude power of the state to enforce its own bigotries.

So far, the U.S. Supreme Court is passing up every opportunity to address these so-called “psychological parenting” cases. Unfortunately, while they wait, a wave of new cases is building, the tide of our culture is turning … and legal chaos is engulfing the American family.

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About The Author

Alan Sears, a former federal prosecutor in the Reagan Administration, is president and CEO of the Alliance Defense Fund, a legal alliance employing a unique combination of strategy, training, funding, and litigation to protect and preserve religious liberty, the sanctity of life, marriage, and the family.

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Do Constitutional Parental Rights Matter
Alan Sears made some awsome and very logical points in this article. It's good to hear such logic and truth in the media.

BUT WAIT! Now shouldn't he and those like him take an even larger abuse by the courts to the media and public? IN other words, go do the same for fathers and their children who are trampled on in large numbers daily in divorce where one parent (mothers) are given all the rights and the other parent's rights are stolen, trampled upon and he is enslaved and loses the equal constitutional rights (which Alan points out clearly) to equally be with and parent his kids. Oh, not to mention the kids lose one parent who is made into a salve and a visitor, at best, who is then often barred even from that for frivolous reasons by the mother and the court, or false abuse allegations are used, coupled with illogical, bad or outright criminal judges and commissioners. Most of them ARE this bad today. Just ask good women who this very well, who watch and hear from the drama queens (abusers) doing this.

The same commissioners and judges Alan mentioned are committing this child abuse too. Kids will also more often end up with abusive mothers, rather than with more often non-abusive fathers, this way. Those stats are documented but swept under the rug by these judges and corrupt cohorts.

DHHS has watered-down stats showing that moms, especially single moms abuse and murder their won children far more than their fathers do, and that children are safest when dad is in the home (the real dad that is) or in divorce situations when equal custody is given. Then and only then are the children are safest and do best (according to many studies and verified by the APA in 2006).

Like Alan said, NO judge or commissioner has the right to nix this basic constitutional parental right unless clear and significant parental unfitness is proven in a criminal court, not simply alleged with no proof or chance of true and full rebuttal in family court. So, I guess family court really is "criminal" court.

Most abuse allegations in divorce are shown to be false by many studies and stats. Just because mom cries "abuse!" doesn't mean that it isn't her who is the sole and worst abuser, next to those supporting her in this. It is criminal and it is child abuse to routinely take away fathers' equal parental rights. But this is the organized crime and abuse being committed in our courts daily.

Equal custody - anything less IS child abuse, and a crime against the constitution.


If Jones doesn't like it she should have
That really is a great part of the issue. Had Jones kept her hands where they were supposed to be, Barlow might not have left her and they would still be damaging that little girl together.

It is my understanding that Barlow has married a man and intends to have a family with him. It was at this point that Jones suddenly became interested in being Mommy 2 and insisted upon visitation, etc.

I have a coworker who is a former lesbian. Her long-time lover left her several years ago to pursue another relationship. They have a daughter by artificial insemination. The same thing happened. The ex-lover was interested in occassional visits (what you might expect from a former roommate who had lived with the mother for her child's entire life), but when my friend became involved with a man, the ex-lover suddenly wanted scheduled visitation and to be able to have the child overnight. She couldn't compete financially and, therefore, legally with my friend who makes a lot of money as a counselor, so they were still arguing about after a year. When my friend married and her new husband applied for adoption of the daughter, the ex-lover filed against the adoption, claiming parental rights.

The last I heard, the case was still in court and the adoption has been delayed for over a year. My friend did tell me that the lawyers say there's probably no chance her ex-lover will get custody or even scheduled visitation since all parties are white. Had any of the parties been Alaska Native and the child had even one drop of Alaskan Native blood, the Alaskan Native relationship would have trumped pretty much all others. I know white women in Alaska who were good mothers who lost all custody of their children to the parents, grandparents, and once an aunt of their former husband (as well as all manner of unfit former husbands) because "Native culture" trumps biology and good parenting any day.

It's a sad state our country has come to. It's because we stopped valuing marriage and stopped considering the children before we divorced, cohabitated and otherwise messed with the traditional definition of marriage. I don't know if we can fix it. I'd like to think we can, but it may be too late to do it under the current system and I don't see the current system going anywhere anytime soon.

The law must be enfored objectively
"I take thee to be my lawful wedded husband/wife, to love, honor and cherish, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, foresaking all others, till death do us part."

The decline of the institution of marriage began with no-fault divorce. It became to easy to say these words because society stopped holding those accountable for breaking the promises in them.

The state has to be involved in marriage because lawful marriage is a state institution. When the state sanctions a marriage it is not merely allowing two people to marry. That is the least of the legal effects of marriage. The state REQUIRES all of the rest of society to recognize the relationship as a marriage, which carries numerous legal ramifications with it.

Some have observed that gay "unions" are too often dissolved untidily because they aren't legally married, but isn't it just as valid the other way around? Aren't these "unions" also too easy to enter into because there is no stigma attached to the dissolution, just as too many heteros get married that shouldn't for the same reason?

Others have noted that Jones' case is under-represented in the article, and that we don't know how much care Jones gave the child before the break-up. But I have NO sympathy for Jones in this case. In a divorce of a real, legal marriage involving a step-parent the former step-parent seldom retains any custodial rights. And in this case it (apparently) is Jones who severed the relationship; who didn't keep the above promise.

No legal marriage, no biological parenthood, no standing for custody or visitation. The law is supposed to be objective and the rules need to be the same for all. If Jones doesn't like it she should have thought about it before throwing Barlow over for a new lust.

This Sounds Like Baloney
What BS. First, the fact that a person is biologically unrelated (the ex-lover) doesn't mean that she doesn't have a meaningful relationship with the child---she could have been the primary caregiver throughout the child's early life. Second, I am unimpressed by the psychologist's opinion that being with this woman is upsetting to the child as you can get a psychologist (or any expert witness) who will say anything (and another one who will say the opposite). Third, biology does NOT trump everything, as a previous poster said---suppose you have a heterosexual couple consisting of a man with his biological daughter from a previous relationship and he is now with his second wife. Then the child, now ten years old, tells her stepmother, to whom she is close, that Daddy is making sexual advances to her and presents credible evidence; stepmother believes her> stepmother, being horrified, starts divorce proceedings > father requests unsupervised visits with the daughter---he has not been arrested, is not in the slammer, is out loose, and he's the biological father of the child, but I sincerely hope nobody thinks he should be getting unsupervised visits. Fourth, since Mother has found Jesus and doesn't want the kid exposed to her previous lesbian lifestyle, this somehow reminds me of cases in which the mother is a lesbian and the grandmother goes to law to take the child away from the lesbian daughter. Whether Mother gets to keep her child may very well depend on whether the judge interprets the law from a conservative point of view. So is this maybe more of an anti-lesbian case than a child protection case on the theory that any straight person is always morally preferable to any homosexual person? Because the writer of this piece didn't sound exactly neutral.

Just a thought
Biology should ALWAYS trump anything else?

Have you seen the news stories of screaming children torn away from their adoptive parents by strangers who gave them up at birth and come back four years later to "demand their rights"?

Are you familiar with the crazy woman who kidnapped the twins she gave up for adoption and ran to another country with them because the courts had repeatedly refused to hand them back to her?

have you seen stories in the news about children taken away from foster parents and given back to their drug-addled biological mother who then allows her current boyfriend to beat them to death? And heard them call this "preserving the family"?

And what about a pending case here in Canada where the courts are being asked to take a pair of Indian sisters from the adoptive family they have lived with all their lives, who are White people, and move them across the country to live on a reserve in a shack with a stranger, because the stranger happens to be Tribal?

Until we stop treating child custody cases as if they were real estate deals and all about proving who has the clearest title to the property, these kinds of battles will never be ended.

captpke
This was a state case. Did Utah have a Governor Clinton? Presidents don't appoint state judges. Just thought you should know.

UTAH CASE
I'm glad the Utah Supreme Court finally stepped in and gave this woman and her child some relief.

I'm not a lawyer, but it is as plain as the nose on my face that the plaintiff has no legal standing as either a biological or an adoptive parent.

Your story needs a new headline...
How about "Utah Case Exemplifies Society's Contempt for God's Gift of Procreation." Cheryl Barlow is suffering the consequences of trying to play God. Worse, so is her daughter who had no choice in the matter of her conception and birth. God created us in a specific biological way in order for us to take part in His creation and human efforts to manipulate that biology most always end in tragedy. A host of angels rejoice in Heaven because Cheryl repented her sins. While God offers complete forgiveness and eternal salvation he can't erase the effects of the sin. Neither can Cheryl and neither can the Courts. How many children like Cheryl's daughter will suffer because our society has made it perfectly acceptable for fertility doctors, prospective parents, lawmakers and courts to play God? I pray for Cheryl, her daughter and her ex-partner. I pray that those hearing of their story realize that human beings taking on the role of God can never be anything but bad actors.

Kinda makes God's plan look darn good
One Woman. One Man. Married for life to each other. They have children and raise them together.

Deviate from that plan and you've got trouble. This story is an perfect example of what happens when that concept is ignored. What a mess for the little child to deal with.


Question:
Is the former lesbian lover who is sueing for visitation rights paying any child support? If you want to go to a dance you usually have to buy a ticket.

Redefined Constitutional Wisdom
There is, quite simply, no Constitutional interpretation available with which one is able, honestly, to conclude that the Supreme Court has jurisdiction in determining whether or not the people would extend the union of marriage dictates to any, and all comers. The debate is not about who does what with whom, but rather who does so within the confines of Constitutional authority.

The only method for determining a final resolution to this irrationally perceived controversy is by an amendment to the Federal Constitution.

The American people, historically speaking, have always done what is right for the entirety of the populace, and that means, the majority of the people. It is sheer ignorance to contend that we all have an equal right to impose our individual, or even collectively speaking from the position of a minority group, upon society as a whole. Of course those who have been misguided into believing that the Supreme Court is the so-called "final authority" under our Constitution would have us believe otherwise.

Under our Constitution, there is no mandate to marry, but there is an inherent understanding that the term has certain parameters with which to guide us as a society if we decide to do so. Only those who wish to redefine our pattern of evolving over time would have us believe that we have arrived at this particular point, as a result of their so-called enlightened understanding.

As a citizen of the United States of America, I would prefer to have my fate firmly held by the hands of a majority of souls with a desire to honor, and respect my individual rights, and desires rather than leave it in the hands of 9 fallible, and inherently imperfect human beings who find themselves in the grasp of a minority of power seeking ingrates determined to destroy all things American in favor of a worldview without any individual rights whatsoever.

Bob
The mother was inseminated artificially. I agree it's the fault of both men and women that today's people think it's perfectly fine to bear children with no intention of providing them with a father. But this situation isn't quite one of an irresponsible, absentee "father."

If this mother has become a Christian, it wouldn't surprise me if, in a few years, her little girl does acquire a father -- and very possibly a great one.

Bad men.
P.S. The little girl's father ought to be horse whipped for fathering a child without being married to the mother.

Bob

Catch more of The World according to Bob at: http://bobstruth.blogspot.com/

Feminazi lesbian utopia
Totally ignored in this whole sordid psychotic mess is the child's fundamental human right to her FATHER! ALL the misandrist bigots, both lesbo nutjobs, the "ad lieum," the agents of Satan in black robes, the many assorted lieyers, and everyone else involved doesn't even mention the basic human rights and needs of every child for his or her actual, real, and only FATHER.

These feminist trained idiots use the lying feminist terminology of "biological father" to pretend that there is any other kind of father. There is only ONE kind of father, the father of the child. A child is half made up of his/her mother, and half of the child is of his/her FATHER. Do deny the child's fundamental right to his/her father denies the biological fact of the child's body and existence. This little girl IS her father's child, that is who she is. Not one of the many politically motivated evil scum involved in this whole tragic story has made any attempt to recognize the fundamental human needs and rights of the child the right to associate with and understand the man who make sup half of her being, her actual, unique, and only real father.

The MEN of Utah ought to have the lot of them impaled in Tabernacle square where they will be welcomed straight to the hell they richly deserve. The daughter given to her FATHER who, by all historic tradition, is the ruler of her house and the guardian of his children.
Bob

Catch more of The World according to Bob at: http://bobstruth.blogspot.com/


My opinion is like Rany y's
Biology should TRUMP everything else. The biological parent is the one that MUST control everything - not the courts.
The only way for a non-biological parent to have any standing in a court of law would be to LEGALLY adopt, but the gay community must see that as too much of a commitment.
Adoption would of course make the adopter LEGALLY responsible for the child financially - but I don't see any of this happening. (As in, I have paid child support - and I want visitation rights to my adopted child. Instead we see a lot of rights to a child born into a gay 'union', but no responsiblities.
Lastly, I should think the child's feelings in the matter should be taken into account more. If a child from a hetero union doesn't want to see daddy - the court will move heaven and earth to see THAT happen.

Cultural Destruction
For the left it is imperative the traditional family be broken. Before the government can become responsible for all aspects of our live the power structure that has developed naturally over thousands of years must be erased. The left has succeded,for the most part, with breaking the black family. They have a template now and are proceding with their plan to break the white family. Redefining marriage and parental rights is a major part of this template. The courts are the tool they use and if we roll over and take then we deserve exactly what we get.

Dollface...
You are spot on. It IS astounding how fast this slope is developing, and how deeply it runs. Probably Clinton's worst damage to us was in the judicial sphere.

Hypothetical
Let's assume that Mom is artificially inseminated and has a boyfriend living in the house. He is not the father of the child. He has an affair and the pair split up. Does he have a right to force overnight visits with the child? No. Why not? He has no legal standing to claim parenthood. He is not a biological partent, he never married the mother, and he did not father the child. That's an easy question. Let's throw in that the "civil union" in another state is a common law marriage. Some states don't recognize common law marriage at all, and some don't recognize those that are formed outside the state where the case is being adjudicated. So, once again he has no rights. What makes this case different? Because she's a lesbian and we have bought into the homosexual lobby's argument that they are being treated like second class citizens? She isn't being treated like the boyfriend, in fact she's being treated better than him. Why is that? We need to take a good long look at this and admit that biological parents have the ultimate say so over their children, and homosexual marriage is a farce. End of story. Signed, a lawyer who used to handle custody cases.

Arrogant Stupidity
I find the arrogant stupidity of today's generation of ill-educated judges to be breathtaking. For over 5,000 years of recorded history, the basic building block of a successful society was and continues to be the nuclear family of a male father, a female mother, and their children. It amazes me that they can say with a straight-face that they are smarter and better than those that came before them.

Civil Unions
I take the opposite approach. Had Jones and Barlow been legally married in a civil union, and instead of 'dissolving their union', had had to go through the legal ramifications of divorce and child custody and all that entails, there would have been no debate at this late hour.

For too long gays have fought for rights that are granted to man/woman legal unions without question. The problem that they don't want to face is that with rights come with responsibilities. All too often I have seen gay 'unions' dissolved, where one is highly abusive to the other, where one has stolen from or blatantly been unfaithful, even to spreading STDs - all without any legal recourse or punishments for these crimes committed against another human being, because, after all, they're only pretending, only faking reality, only - gay. What did you expect?

If the government has to intercede in marriage, has to arbitrate property disbursement or custody, then gays should come under the same rules as everyone else. Whether I find such behavior morally reprehensible or not, should not be the legal basis for denying that humans have certain inalienable rights...

Marriage Definition Creep...
This type of thing is why Romney is against gay marriage and civil unions. The children are the ones who suffer.

Before you blast me for being anti-gay, I'm not. Neither is Romney.

The trick is understanding that allowing a revised definition of marriage (like the one in Vermont or Massachusetts) leads to things like this as time goes on. With no national definition of marriage, the marriage definition will, in the eyes of judges, gradually creep along until it becomes something unrecognizable.

Reason #5
why the government shouldn't be involved in marriage in the first place...
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