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Oh dear. It continues to get worse for Massachusetts’ populist governor, Deval Patrick. Yesterday we spoke about his pimped out Caddy, his penchant for helicoptering over traffic, and his generous sharing of victory’s spoils that followed the fine tradition of centuries of tin-pot despots. So, you might ask, how could it get worse? Let me explain.
After spiritedly defending his right to lease a Cadillac with scarce state funds, Patrick won himself a new nickname from the Boston Herald – “Cadillac Deval.” While catchy, I don’t think it will look good on a bumper sticker.
Yesterday, Patrick finally bowed to public pressure and agreed to pay for a portion of the controversial Caddy’s lease. This decision came after some searing soul-searching. Said the disingenuous Deval, “I realize I cannot in good conscience ask the agencies to make those (fiscal) choices without being willing to make them myself.” Unfortunately for us curious types, Patrick declined to address why he only came to this realization after the story of his tax-payer funded Cadillac made the front page of the local newspapers and became non-stop fodder for the local talk shows.
Anyway, end of story, right? Think again.
Just as Patrick was attempting to put this story to bed, his erstwhile friends at Morrissey Boulevard were preparing to drop another bombshell on the beleaguered chief executive. Since the Globe’s front-page above-the-fold story described this new development so well, I’ll quote the boring broadsheet directly:
Governor Deval Patrick spent more than $10,000 on damask drapes for his State House office as part of a $27,387 makeover that also included a new desk, settee, and other furnishings paid for with taxpayer money.
Because I personally am not familiar with different varieties of draperies, I had to call in the official interior decorating and fashion consultant of the HughHewitt.com site, Mrs. Soxblog, to give me a primer on damask drapes. I learned that damask drapes are made of a dignified heavy silk that scream “important man,” albeit in a discreet manner. As for a “settee,” I knew what that was but I still don’t know why a governor needs one.
Have I whetted your appetite to take a gander at the new furnishings? If I have, prepare yourself for frustration. In order to make sure he looks like a complete fool for the maximum number of news cycles possible, Patrick and his office have refused press requests to photograph the posh new furnishings that bedeck the man of the people’s workspace. Having had my journalistic sensibilities awakened by this scandal, I promise the HughHewitt.com audience that I won’t rest until I get a look at that settee.
A COUPLE OF THINGS NEED TO BE CLEARED UP in regards to Patrick. First, other than John Edwards of course, I can’t name such a transparent phony currently dancing across our political stage. Obviously some people bought his act during the election season. For the life of me, I still can’t understand why.
The next thing that needs to be addressed is a comparison that is gaining traction in the Bay State between Deval Patrick and the still locally-loathed Michael S. Dukakis. This comparison only makes sense on the most superficial level. Both men are short. Both men are super-liberal. Dukakis left office with an approval rating of negative 6% which means 100% of the electorate didn’t like him, and of those 100%, 6% made a point of calling the pollsters back to emphasize how much they didn’t like him. A similar fate awaits Patrick. Both men are preternaturally irritating, seemingly blessed with an uncanny ability to foment hostility in even the most placid and uninvolved citizens.
But there the similarities end. Dukakis was so annoying because he was so painfully earnest. Say what you will about him, but the man had no artifice, no pretense and I don’t think an ounce of bulls**t in him. He talked about fiscal austerity and rode the T to work. He was a notorious tightwad, so when he urged the Bay State citizenry to go without, he at least had the moral standing to do so. Dukakis’ variety of “wear your galoshes and button your trench coat ” politics was endlessly irritating, but at least it was sincere.
Patrick, on the other hand, is a snake oil salesman. He talks about fiscal austerity and yet aggressively exploits the perks of his office. Until he searched his soul yesterday, he thought he was above public scrutiny. He defended his choice to go with the Cadillac first with a lie, and then with outrage that anyone would have the audacity to question him on such a minor matter.
Michael Dukakis was (and is) a wealthy man who lives like a pauper. For goodness sakes, he buys those dreadful “no-name” products at the market insisting that they’re every bit as good as the name-brands. Deval Patrick is just the opposite, surrounding himself with damask drapes and ornate settees on the taxpayer’s nickel.
In short, I knew Michael Stanley Dukakis – You, Deval Patrick, are no Michael Dukakis. For most politicians, that would be a relief. It is a measure of Patrick’s maladroit ways that he should be concerned that he’s not sufficiently Dukakis-like.
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